I GIVE UP

thats it...i give up.....i officially dont want to have to do anything ever again....i am sick and fucking tired of putting myself forth every day , putting out another cheek to be slapped loud and clear....i mean how many fucking times do i have to be told i am not good enough before it sinks in...before i keep sending out more shit to be told....they were so many fucking qualified applicants for the job and yours was the most fucking least impressive.
I should have just flunked out of archi school when i had the chance.,...atleast the last year wouldnt have built up my hopes my expectations that someday i will be good enough.,..and maybe i am...you know...like pretty good...i know my shit. I know ZILCH absolutely zero....i could bust my ass of but all i get to do in the wild and wonderful full world of UB is to be a cashier/or a librarian......i wish i could just pack up and go home tail between my legs....Im not good enough....why cant i just live with that?

Eureka?

After days of thinking, procrastinating & rationalising I have come to a decision to bare my heart and soul to a bunch of random strangers , who should have better stuff to do than hear my thoughts on really random shit.....but if I ever wanna write there can be no better demo version...so all you random strangers out there.......welcome to my humble heart.