sloooooooooooowly things starts getting better...you realise that you could crib all you want...lifes not changin....so slowly you start accepting the fake mask of happiness on your face and start believing your own deception. Become the character you pretend to be.

I have been told this time and again...natasha your thoughts makes no sense you have powerful ideas but hell no logic...i jump from topic to topic barely taking a breath in between.

some people are better abt saying that than others. I remember a prof I was writing essays for....she "discussed" my essays in class and was like "i like natasha's abruptness....she keeps me awake when i read her stuff:)"

well...for this blog...it looks like saurabh is the only one who reads regularly..so too bad saurabh this diary isnt geared towards public consumption...its my thoughts...in writing thats all...make sense if you want too;)

spoke to dad last night....the call to them was just a im so homesick but i dont wanna admit it kinda call....i told dad abt classes i wanna take...comps i wanna buy and then i start bawling....i wanna come home!!!!!....do most ppl do that or is it just me?...i will practically never ever cry for the reason im upset abt...ill pinch my lips together, sulk (as sanketh would put it;) or pretend nothin ever happened....till something else triggers it off....my coffee isnt hot enough maybe?....i guess i musnt be the only person....i mean Ross does that too...and he is SO a real person right?